Trying for that girl, huh?

Ever since becoming pregnant with our third child I have been asked the inevitable question,  At first I answered yes to that question every time.  I mean, I had two boys, I really did want a little princess to spoil.  Then I had a miscarriage.  Everything changed.  I decided I didn't just want to try for a girl, I wanted to try for a third child.  I wanted to be pregnant again and it really didn't matter whether it was a boy or a girl. 

So we tried again, and succeeded shortly after my miscarriage.  We were elated and truly did not care what we were having.....at first.  As the pregnancy progressed we both wished for that little girl again.  And friends, family members, and even strangers began to make that age old comment, "So, you're trying for that girl, huh?" My mother went as far as to buy a little girl outfit and a good friend of mine gave me her little girl's bedding set.  On both occassions I had a nagging feeling of dread...would this be a girl?  Would my mother be disappointed if it wasn't?  Would my husband? How would I react?  I had gotten my hopes up and convinced myself that my second son was a little girl and then been slightly devestated when he wasn't.  I didn't want to do that to myself again.  Plus, this pregnancy was a miracle in my eyes after what had happened only months before with the miscarriage....I didn't want to regret it at all or for one second think that it wasn't worth it because it was another boy.

My strategy became to let everyone know that I knew this was just going to be another boy so they better accept it.  I even used the line, "If this isn't a girl, so be it.  We are done." 

So when we went to our 20 week ultrasound and the tech asked if we would like to know the sex.  I responded, "Yes, even though we are pretty sure you are going to tell us it's another boy."  She moved the wand over my belly and without hesitation I said, "Those are more boy parts."  She chuckled and confirmed my suspicions.  We were expecting boy #3.   My husband and I handled it pretty well.  I, of course, kept pointing out the fact that I knew it was another boy.  He took it a little harder voicing his concerns with, "We already have two boys, what do we need another for?"  But since then, the idea has grown on him.  He has even proclaimed that he is all done.  There are no girls in our future.  Our family will be complete with three.

Now everyone says, "Another boy?!" Like it is a bad thing.  I love my two little boys.  They pick me flowers and tell me I am the "bestest mommy."  They tell me when they grow up they want to marry me.  They watch my favorite old movies and tv shows with me and even sing along to the tunes from Annie and Punky Brewster.  They buy me things that are pink and have fairies and princesses on them.  They are forever telling me how good my lotion smells and how pretty my toes look when they are painted and how soft my legs are when I wear nylons.  They have taught me to love camp fires and sticky smores.  They have taught me more than I ever thought I would know about trains, lincoln logs, and Super Mario.  They have convinced me that it's okay to get dirty.  And they love to do the things that I had dreamed of doing with a little girl, like baking and singing country songs and reading books from my childhood.

My boys are loud.  They are messy.  They fight with each other all the time.  They are aggressive.  They are physical.  They have very little desire to help clean the house.  But they are also silly.  They are sweet.  They care deeply about others feelings and they always try to find the best in people.  They don't embarrass easily. And best of all, they are never too busy to give their mommy a hug and a kiss. 

Each night at bedtime, after they have been tucked in and kissed, I am required to ask them their favorite part of the day (I say required because if I forget, they don't let me leave the room!) Each night, my 3 year old responds, "When I got home and I hugged my mommy."  And at that moment, all of the fighting, the yelling, the messes seem to melt away.  All of the problems and tantrums we encountered throughout the day are gone and I fall in love with their two little faces all over again.

Do I still wish that there was a little girl somewhere in my future?  Sure I do.  I would love to have the relationship with a daughter that I have had with my mother.  But I have been given a very important job.  I have to raise three little boys.  I have to teach them manners, how to treat a lady, how to do their own laundry and make their own meals, and how to take care of themselves.  I have to transform them into men that the world will be proud of.

So yes, it is another boy.  But I am not sad, I am not disappointed.  I am sure that I will adore this baby just as much as I adore his brothers.  I am excited to welcome a new little boy into our club.  After all, I have been elevated to the status of Queen in my castle and what woman wouldn't love all that adoration?!